Well, what do you know.....

Well.  We finally have answers.  Courtney is not ADD (or ADHD, which ever you prefer).  Are you sitting down?  She is brilliant/gifted/talented/smart as a whip (what ever you prefer).  Sure, we have known for years that she is gifted, super smart, etc.  But wow.  Folks, we are telling you, she is super smart.  We have the test results to prove it. 

I am still in the process of processing this.  Let me processes here a bit.  

First, I actually am uncomfortable telling people who don't know us well (or who don't know Courtney) that we have a gifted child.  We all realize/believe our children are the smartest children ever.  And that is how it should be.  So, when I say "our child is gifted", I feel like other parents (who don't know Courtney) think: Yeah, well my kid is too... or something along those lines.  Or that I am trying to brag.

Just because I say I have a gifted child, doesn't mean life with her is easy!  We have wondered for the past 6 years what kind of issues she has!  All this behavior stuff has had professionals wondering for the past few years if she is ADD, or bi-polar, or something else...  She has kicked a hole in a door.  She has thrown stuff at us.  Life is a constant battle with her.  Every thing is a battle.  I am not complaining, but I want people to realize that life with a gifted child is not a cake walk. I am not bragging.  I am wondering out loud how to get through the next 20 years of life with her. 

Right now, she is super smart, but she has the emotions of a 6 years old in that mind.  Later on, we are going to know how much she is capable and it will be a VERY FINE line of not pushing her too much.  She really doesn't following most standard parenting guidelines, or fit into most molds of most kids.  All the standard parenting tricks tend to not work with her.  Parenting her has always been a struggle.  And that is one thing that has most bothered me, how do we parent this child!?!?!?!

Plus, she has had her share of other issues, that she has worked very hard on.  Fine motor skill delays, oral motor delays, gross motor delays.  Remember, we did many years of Physical Therapy, Speech Therapy, and Occupational Therapy.  Heck, we are still paying the bills for it! 

It is a huge relief for me to know she doesn't have ADD or is bi-polar, or something else!  But I still feel as if I am standing over the canyon of the unknown.  At least the canyon is a whole lot smaller now.  And we know what the canyon is made of now.  We just don't know how to navigate that canyon yet.

Funny thing is that the few professionals we have discussed this with over the past couple days have all recommended:  

A survival guide?  We need a survival guide?  Of course I say that knowing full well that we do.  Heck, I have been trying to find a survival guide to understand Courtney for the past 6 years.... Apparently she didn't come with her own survival guide.  I have to say, if there was a "Courtney survival guide" out there, I would pay big bucks for it.... 

So, anyone reading this thinking: well, you are just trying to brag that your kid is gifted, realize this:  we need a survival guide to raise her!!!  Do you need a survival guide to raise your child?

But, at the same time, I now feel like we have answers.  I feel like the giant puzzle that is Courtney and has been a puzzle for the past 6 years is now close to being solved.  The last pieces we need is how to parent this child.  And I must say, that is a relief.

I have felt so isolated for 6 years.  Our kid is so different from so many other kids.  Our kid was so difficult at home, but an angel at school....  But with the school she is at, with the other gifted kids there, I realize that I am not alone.  It is okay to have a gifted child.  She is in the right place!!!  Both for her and for Hubby and I. 

I have felt so much better with her the last 2 days.  I feel like I am now understanding her better.  I feel like there is hope as to how to parent her correctly now.  For the first time, with her behavioral issues, I have hope!  That alone is a good feeling!!!  I remember feeling that way starting each of the therapies (OT, PT, Speech) years ago.  And look where we are now....

She and I have come so far in 6 years...  My cup of love for her overflows.  We are going to be okay folks!  We are going to be okay!!!!

Mid-January

Mid January, here it is.  The girls went back to school last week and I think I had the hardest time adjusting back into the swing of things.  I am just not an early riser.  So, now going back to having to wake up an hour earlier is not fun for me.

Both girls love school, so they were excited to go back.  We had a parent/teacher conference with Courtney's teacher the Friday before school started back.  As usual, everything is good!  She doesn't misbehave at school which just bewilders everyone.  She is excelling at everything that is put in front of her, and she is over all doing exceptionally well.

I have been better about getting back into the gym.  You know it's bad when you walk into the childcare to drop your 3 year old off and the workers say "Oh, HI!  We haven't seen you in a while!"  I wanted to reply "yeah yeah, I was at home eating Christmas cookies...."  But I didn't...

My heart is still heavy for my friend.  She is still in such a state of grieving.  It is heart wrenching.

I have said it before and I will say it again now.  December was a hard month.  I have never prayed so much for Heaven and Hell to be real and "easy to get into" in one month, over two different incidents. 

Well, not much else is new, so I will leave you with Dave's obituary. 

David Paul Aldridge, of Colorado Springs, Colo., died unexpectedly on December 21, 2012 while he was running - one of his favorite things to do. Survivors include his wife, Holly Sue Bonnell Aldridge; son Spencer Wayne (6); daughters Leah Story Kate (4) and Maci Meeraf (3); parents Paul and Janet Aldridge; sisters Laura (Mike) Haynes and Linda (James) Watkins; parents-in-law Wayne and Judy Bonnell; sister-in-law Mindy(Taylor) Gordy; nieces Mary and Jennifer Haynes, Resha and Rachel Watkins; Olivia and Claire Gordy; nephew, Jacob Haynes. Dave was born April 22, 1973, in Prescott, Ariz. He graduated from Pagosa Springs High School in 1991 and Oklahoma Baptist University in 1995. Dave was the manager of Physical Therapy Rehabilitation at Memorial Hospital, Colorado Springs. But he was more proud of the titles "husband" and "daddy." His passions were his family, his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and the great outdoors of Colorado. He loved climbing, skiing, camping, and fishing, and had summited all 54 of Colorado's "14ers," peaks reaching 14,000 feet and above. He was a member of First Presbyterian Church and the Headwaters class. Dave was known for his servant's heart: he was always doing for others' family, friends, clients and even strangers benefited from his desire to support and encourage. His friends and family are committed to making sure his young children grow up knowing how special their dad was, and how he had hope in Christ as he dreamed and prayed for them. There will be a visitation on Friday, December 28, 2012 from 5pm-8pm at Cappadona's Funeral Home on 1020 East Fillmore Street,Colorado Springs. A memorial service celebrating his life will be on Saturday, December 29, 2012, at 2 pm, First Presbyterian Church, 219 E. Bijou St., Colorado Springs. An account for the family has been established at the Bank at Broadmoor. Donations in lieu of flowers may be sent to the "The Dave Aldridge Memorial Fund, Holly S. Aldridge" c/o The Bank at Broadmoor 155 Lake Avenue Colorado Springs, CO 80906.

Welcome 2013

Well, we all made it to 2013.  I am very glad to see 2012 come to an end!  What a year.  Cancer, hysterectomy, Hubby traveling a lot, behavior issues with Courtney, fires, mass shootings, a young husband dead....  Goodbye 2012.

As you know the last weeks of December were particularly tough.  With the shootings in Connecticut, and then my friends husband passing away unexpectedly.  And in the middle of all that Courtney was finally diagnosed with ADD.  Which as much as it stinks that she is ADD, it is really nice to finally have a diagnosis.  She still is going through testing, and in a few weeks we will finally know much more about her, how to parent her and help the teachers teach her.  I am very much looking forward to that. 

Our Christmas was good.  My heart was heavy thinking about my friend, but we had a good day.  My birthday was good as well.  I got to spend the day with my mom and sister shopping in Denver.  And then dinner with everyone that night. 

The next day I was able to continue my birthday celebrations by spending the day with my friend Margaret in Manitou Springs.  Her birthday is 9 days before mine, so we took the day to celebrate together.  We started with a nice lunch and margaritas and followed that with poking around the shops.  It was nice and relaxing!

Then I spent the next 4 days preparing for our New Years party that we have every year.  And in the midst of that I attended the viewing and funeral for my friend's husband.  That sure brought it all home and made it real.

My friend  is so visibly broken right now.  I think it's all she can do to put one foot in front of another.  She is just so sad.  I think of her often and pray for her all the time.  Her friends have created a care calendar and we are all able to sign up to help her out.  I get to start this Friday by doing laundry for her.  I am so happy I get to help her in any possible way. 

2013 will bring an office move for us.  The lease has been signed and Hubby's office will be moving further south on Union.  We will be moving some time between Jan 15 and March 10.  Thankfully we have 2 months to move and take our time, so that is nice. 

What else does 2013 hold for us?  We do not know as of yet, but here's to hoping it is way less eventful than 2012.