Buddy

Well, we did it. We said good-bye to Buddy on Saturday morning.

I had to tell Courtney on Friday afternoon to prepare her, and so she could say her goodbyes. She wanted to give him lots of treats and take lots of pictures of him once she knew. As soon as I told her, she burst into tears. She didn't want Buddy to leave and go to Heaven. It was very sad.

So, she gave him lots of treats, and she took lots of pictures of him. We took him for one last walk after dinner on Friday night. Courtney walked him most of the way. It was nice, it stopped raining just long enough for us to do that.

I was a little worried about myself. I felt almost emotionless about the whole thing. I knew it was sad, but I just felt emotionless. It was kind of odd and I was a bit worried about myself.

Hubby got home around 11:30pm Friday night. Just about as soon as he walked in the door, my emotions hit. I guess without even realizing it, I had compartmentalized it without even trying. I guess that is what you do when you are a "single" mom. You hold on to those strong emotions and compartmentalize them until you know its safe to release them. Of course, once I started crying, I couldn't stop.

Hubby had a great idea, which was to sleep on the floor with Buddy that night. We woke Courtney up and brought her downstairs as well. The 3 of us made a triangle with our bodies, and we put Buddy in the middle. We affectionately call it the Love Triangle. Buddy slept soundly all night and right up against me.

The next morning we spoiled him with a breakfast of eggs and bacon. And I don't know how many treats Courtney gave him. It was a lot.

Hubby and I dropped Courtney and Kasey off at a friends house, we had all 3 dogs with us. We always take any other dogs we own at the time, so they are aware of what happened to their litter mate.

The dogs were all amped up because they were at the vet. We were not in a normal exam room, we were in their "saying goodbye room", but they still knew where we were. As soon as Buddy passed, Bristol and Maggie laid down behind us very sad like and didn't move until we told them it was time to go. It was very eerie and rather sad. Maggie was more interested in sniffing Buddy's body than Bristol, but the two of them were obviously very sad. It was touching.

We left through the back door and went and got the girls. When Kasey got in the car she immediately asked "Buddy?". We told her Buddy was all gone. She has done that several times over the last 2 days.

Courtney has bouts where she suddenly misses Buddy, doesn't want to be a 2 dog family, wants Buddy back, etc. I am sure this will last a few days to weeks.

I had prepared for this moment about a year ago. I had purchased 2 books that help kids understand the death of a dog and what happens. They are both basically about Dogs in Heaven and all the fun things they get to do. I think the books help me more than Courtney.

So, we are still reeling from the loss of Buddy. But I know he is so much happier and back to his normal self now. And I know that someday, when I go to Heaven, he will be there waiting for me, along with all the other dogs I have loved, and will love, along the way.