I am still in the process of processing this. Let me processes here a bit.
First, I actually am uncomfortable telling people who don't know us well (or who don't know Courtney) that we have a gifted child. We all realize/believe our children are the smartest children ever. And that is how it should be. So, when I say "our child is gifted", I feel like other parents (who don't know Courtney) think: Yeah, well my kid is too... or something along those lines. Or that I am trying to brag.
Just because I say I have a gifted child, doesn't mean life with her is easy! We have wondered for the past 6 years what kind of issues she has! All this behavior stuff has had professionals wondering for the past few years if she is ADD, or bi-polar, or something else... She has kicked a hole in a door. She has thrown stuff at us. Life is a constant battle with her. Every thing is a battle. I am not complaining, but I want people to realize that life with a gifted child is not a cake walk. I am not bragging. I am wondering out loud how to get through the next 20 years of life with her.
Right now, she is super smart, but she has the emotions of a 6 years old in that mind. Later on, we are going to know how much she is capable and it will be a VERY FINE line of not pushing her too much. She really doesn't following most standard parenting guidelines, or fit into most molds of most kids. All the standard parenting tricks tend to not work with her. Parenting her has always been a struggle. And that is one thing that has most bothered me, how do we parent this child!?!?!?!
Plus, she has had her share of other issues, that she has worked very hard on. Fine motor skill delays, oral motor delays, gross motor delays. Remember, we did many years of Physical Therapy, Speech Therapy, and Occupational Therapy. Heck, we are still paying the bills for it!
It is a huge relief for me to know she doesn't have ADD or is bi-polar, or something else! But I still feel as if I am standing over the canyon of the unknown. At least the canyon is a whole lot smaller now. And we know what the canyon is made of now. We just don't know how to navigate that canyon yet.
Funny thing is that the few professionals we have discussed this with over the past couple days have all recommended:
A survival guide? We need a survival guide? Of course I say that knowing full well that we do. Heck, I have been trying to find a survival guide to understand Courtney for the past 6 years.... Apparently she didn't come with her own survival guide. I have to say, if there was a "Courtney survival guide" out there, I would pay big bucks for it....
So, anyone reading this thinking: well, you are just trying to brag that your kid is gifted, realize this: we need a survival guide to raise her!!! Do you need a survival guide to raise your child?
But, at the same time, I now feel like we have answers. I feel like the giant puzzle that is Courtney and has been a puzzle for the past 6 years is now close to being solved. The last pieces we need is how to parent this child. And I must say, that is a relief.
I have felt so isolated for 6 years. Our kid is so different from so many other kids. Our kid was so difficult at home, but an angel at school.... But with the school she is at, with the other gifted kids there, I realize that I am not alone. It is okay to have a gifted child. She is in the right place!!! Both for her and for Hubby and I.
I have felt so much better with her the last 2 days. I feel like I am now understanding her better. I feel like there is hope as to how to parent her correctly now. For the first time, with her behavioral issues, I have hope! That alone is a good feeling!!! I remember feeling that way starting each of the therapies (OT, PT, Speech) years ago. And look where we are now....
She and I have come so far in 6 years... My cup of love for her overflows. We are going to be okay folks! We are going to be okay!!!!
3 comments:
love you and your genius child.
Congratulations and yes, you will be fine. I worked with the gifted students in my classes to allow them extra activities and challenges because much of the mischief came from boredom. We often had to explain that gifted didn't mean "perfect" -- it just meant they would misbehave in more imaginative ways . . . and there is no limit once those gifts find a positive direction!!ulatInu 1208
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